Arianna Mastro ’18 is a self-proclaimed ‘little ball of joy.’ What she may lack in traditional WesCeleb credentials, she more than makes up for with her infectious exuberance and her ability to put a room at ease. The Argus was lucky enough to catch her in between Usdan meals, where she provided endless entertainment and answered questions about her celebrity, her stage presence, and her membership in one of the University’s most renowned secret societies.
The Argus: Why do you think you were nominated to be a WesCeleb?
Arianna Mastro: Well, I’m more of a WesAdmits celeb than a WesCeleb. I think most people know me because I’m just posting about things I lose all the time. I’m extremely irresponsible, it turns out. Like, this morning I had to post because I lost my keys, even though I really just think they’re in my room and I haven’t unpacked. Then I spilled coffee all over myself and had to go to my two drumming auditions. It was a huge disaster.
A: Okay, well, I guess that sort of answers the question. So, you’re also a major presence at Terp.
AM: I love Terp so much. Terp is the most democratic institution at this school, it’s where I shine, and it’s my favorite night of the whole year. When I went abroad, Terp is literally the only thing I missed about Wesleyan. I was born for the stage, I just don’t have any talents to show off. So it’s perfect. My dream is to have a Terp but for singing, where you create an a capella group, but it’s still Terp so everyone is super drunk.
A: I’ve heard conflicting reports about your other activities on campus, in terms of whether you have any.
AM: I know who your source is, and I fucking hate [Aaron Stagoff-Belfort ’18]. [Laughs] I post on WesAdmits. I mess around with The Argus. This all started because I wanted to be a sexy single on Valentine’s day, and then I signed up for The Argus dating service…. I’m looking for a husband, and you can include that.
A: I certainly will.
AM: But I do no extracurriculars, nothing. I was in Terp, and I was in a play, Mamma Mia’s Pizzeria. I honestly think I stole the show as a chorus member. Now I dance, I sing, I act, I’m a serious triple threat. But, in terms of activities, I hang around Usdan a lot, so I’d count Usdan lunch as an extracurricular. And I go to Usdan breakfast every morning—I get a “space-egg” sandwich from the Café, the ones that they heat up in the microwave. Every single morning they heat it and I eat it, but I absolutely hate the sandwich and I don’t know why I get it, but I can’t stop eating it.
A: Fascinating. So, how about your involvement with secret societies. Are those rumors true?
AM: Yeah! I’m in Mystic Seven. They tapped me when I was a sophomore, I rose through the ranks, and now I pretty much run the whole thing. I’ve actually been heavily involved with the new building on the corner [of Pine St. and Lawn Ave.] It’s largely based on my own architectural plans. So I feel like I could be a WesCeleb for that, except that it’s obviously all very secret.
A: Some have said that your fame just comes from riding the coattails of your more impressive grandma and dog.
AM: My dog is definitely the most famous member of my family. His name is Jojo and he’s really an asshole, but a lovable way. He was on “Inside Amy Schumer,” and his new movie with Paul Giamatti is coming out soon. He once went to Montauk to shoot a Ralph Lauren ad, so he has a lot of fans. My grandma Roz isn’t famous, she’s just the superstar of my life. She has the most beautiful wrinkles and she won the lottery on her 90th birthday. I love her very much.
But I’m also famous at Metro. I once went to the movies with Tyler [Clarke ’18] and Khephren [Spigner ’18], and Khephren was trying to bribe Alex from Metro to give him this nautical themed-PBR bench that they were raffling. I was mad at Khephren so I bought a raffle ticket, and I somehow won. So I have this bench in my house now, and I was on the placemat at the Metro checkout counter for a year. They give me free decorations and necklaces there and they all know my face now, so I’m kind of a big deal that way.
A: Sort of on that note, I guess, your demeanor has been described as ‘festive.’
AM: I don’t know what exactly about me is festive, but I know that everything about me is, you know? I have a jubilant energy…. I don’t change myself to fit the vibe of a room, I just come in with my enthusiasm and pizzazz and I’m exactly who I am. I try to bring the party, rather than just being there at the party. I almost died from a fire at a party last night, but I still tried to keep it upbeat.
A: It makes more sense now that you have such a following, so many young fans. What would you say to your impressionable underclassman admirers?
AM: Wesleyan is a really magical place! Take advantage of every warm day and go to Foss as much as you can. Be nice to people, make a lot of friends…. This is one of the most remarkable places on the planet! [Laughs uncontrollably, refuses to continue with interview].
Sam Prescott can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.