Wesleyan v. Wellesley: “Rather Dead than Coed?”

October 10, 2011, by Vicky Chu, Class of 2013

Editors’ Note: The Argus editorial staff would like to apologize for the publication of the opinion piece titled “Wesleyan v. Wellesley: ‘Rather Dead than Coed?’” on Tuesday, Oct. 11. We failed to uphold our duty to ensure that articles, op-eds or otherwise, do not unfairly target individuals or groups. Many of the author’s assertions in this piece were unfounded, and we apologize to those who were hurt or offended by them.

The article has been taken down from the Argus website and replaced by a statement from the author.

Author response posted 10/19 2:05 p.m.

Dear Readers,

I would first like to say that, like any opinion piece published in The Argus, “Wesleyan v. Wellesley: ‘Rather Dead than Coed?’” does not reflect the views of the general student body at Wesleyan or the newspaper’s staff. I apologize to the University for causing unnecessary animosity between liberal arts institutions.

I sincerely regret the generalizations I made in this piece and apologize to students and alumni of women’s colleges who do not share these experiences. My intention for the article was to showcase some of the stereotypes I encountered as a student during my first two years at Bryn Mawr and to explain why a women’s college was not right for me.

Additionally, Wellesley is mentioned in the title of the article because the two schools are often confused with each other due to their similarity in nomenclature. However, I did not intend to extend this comparison to the broader experiences of attending a single-sex and co-ed education. I did not aim to incite a debate over which school is “better,” nor did I intend to attack any specific institution.

While I should not have generalized beyond my own experiences, these assertions were based on incidents that I witnessed during my time at Bryn Mawr.

The bigger issue for me was how men viewed Bryn Mawr women as a result of our single-sex experience. What initially appeared to be quirks that were not necessarily representative of the majority of Bryn Mawr students nevertheless become a starting point for Haverford and Swarthmore students to ridicule us. We were looked down upon for our lower liberal arts college ranking and mocked for wanting to study at their institutions. At Bryn Mawr, my fellow hallmates were harangued by a female Swarthmore student at a party (“You don’t go here, do you? Oh, let me guess—Bryn Mawr!”). I was told by another male student that he intended to take a class at Bryn Mawr “because it was an easy A.” It was through degrading experiences like these that were imposed on Bryn Mawr as a result of reinforced stereotypes that I came to believe the self-segregation of women’s colleges had backfired.

The majority of commenters on this article are alumni and students and women’s colleges who adamantly assert that no such incidents occur at their institutions. Perhaps I was one of an unfortunate few at Bryn Mawr to witness events like this on a regular basis. However, many of my classmates at the time told me they also felt marginalized by the experience of attending an all-girls school, and I know many who transferred as well.

I do not dispute anyone’s satisfaction or happiness with her single-sex college experience. If my description contradicts your women’s college experience, I can only say I am envious. I intended to highlight a side of the women’s college experience that is less often portrayed. These negative stereotypes do exist and continue to be perpetuated and I condemn them as much as any commenter.

I came to Wesleyan because it was a good fit for me. I remain confident that I would have received a similarly exceptional education had I graduated from Bryn Mawr; the only change is that I am finally satisfied with my college experience.

I am glad this issue has brought about a public discussion, and have learned a lot from this experience as well. Again, I apologize for the generalizations made in my original piece, but I continue to stand by my opinion about same-sex education and invite readers to critique my arguments, not my personal character.

Arielle Schecter

I also transferred from Bryn Mawr to a coed school, but not because of any particularly negative associations I held with women’s colleges. To the contrary, I grew immensely as a student and a young person at Bryn Mawr, and I continue to value the lessons and relationships I gained there.

To my fellow Mawrtyrs (and yes, I still consider myself part of that esteemed group), kindly don’t lend more credence to this article than it is due. Let it rest as simply the reflection of one disaffected former Bryn Mawr student. Ms. Chu should be allowed the right to her own opinions, however disagreeable or uninformed you may find them.
- MPS
  
  Yes, and we are also granted the right to disagree with her.
A Smithie

I’m sorry you had a bad time at Bryn Mawr, and you must know that you wrote and decided to publish is complete crap.
Smithie

Wow. I went to Smith, and I can’t say that it was always the most enjoyable environment- women can certainly be bitchy- but I am absolutely proud of attending a Seven Sisters school. I never saw tampons on the floor. I am pretty sure the only time I wore anything resembling sweats to class was the semester I had class immediately following a dance class (and I wore yoga pants, thank you very much). We NEVER said we’d “rather be dead than coed.”

It seems like you are the type of woman who is not confident with herself unless she has a man (or men) in her life. One of my favorite things about attending college at a women’s college was that I learned how to be dependent on MYSELF. I didnt need a man around to feel validated or be successful. That’s what going to a women’s college meant to me- a chance to focus on my studies and myself.

At the end of the day, Vicky, I feel bad for you. You are going to go out into life as someone who probably bounces from boyfriend to boyfriend just so you can have someone to take care of you. You will spend your life trying to find someone who can be successful for you. Good luck. And just remember- Google is a powerful tool, and this article is going to come back to bite you. Hard.
barackobama

I thought there was something odd about a ten day old Argus opinion piece (not even an editorial) suddenly drawing so much fire from off-campus until I came across this blog maintained by a Wellesley alumna: http://jezebel.com/5851165/womens-colleges-only-promote-sweatpants-wearing–poor-tampon-hygiene-says-wesleyan-student

It’s difficult to imagine that it is a complete coincidence that the bulk, if not all, the comments above were rendered within 24 hours of the Wellesley blog.

I’m not defending Ms. Chu’s perspective nor her experience; they are what they are. I’ve read enough equally snarky articles about Wesleyan itself — articles on the front page of the New York Times, in _Newsweek_, and countless internet sites — to know that this type of humor seems to be endemic, a part of the American obsession with trope and stereotype. On that level, it’s on a par with some of the more rancid comments on view in the Intercollegiate Studies Institute’s “Choosing the Right College” on purchase from your local Barnes and Noble.

I don’t know which is more moronic the original article or the Wellesley blog directing traffic this way, insuring it reaches a wider audience. Perhaps, this is a demonstration of that old chestnut, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity — so long as they spell your name right”, in which case, it’s Wesleyan, not Wellesleyan.
- HC 2010
  
  Wait… are you really implying that the website jezebel.com is some sort of Wellesley-run conspiracy to discredit Wesleyan? Really? REALLY?
  - barackobama
    
    No, more likely a strained attempt to play the victim card by Wellesley.
  - another wes girl
    
    agreed; definitely shows Wellesley needs to further validate itself…..
- AMR
  
  Jezebel isn’t a “Wellesley blog.” It’s part of the Gawker network. Did you even read that article? It’s not playing the “victim card” at all – more like “check out this fool’s poorly executed attempt at an opinion piece.”
MHC Class of 2010

This is going to be great for you when you decide to interview for a job and find out your potential employer graduated from a women’s college. Look around, Vicky. There’s a hell of a lot of us and our “abnormal” women’s colleges put us in pretty good places when we graduated.
- LL
  
  More proof that Vicky is right.
  - Ashgavs
    
    Really? you don’t think that if someone went online and publicly bashed your gender, school, race, creed, ethnicity, religion, etc. you wouldn’t be slightly less likely to hire them? Or bashed ANY of the above regardless of how it related to you? It shows Vicky has a serious character flaw. Frankly, I wouldn’t want someone who so easily makes vast generalizations and then posts them online, not only online, but online representing an institution far greater than herself (e.g. Wesleyan). She did not think about the consequences of her actions, who it would offend, how it would reflect on herself, Wellesley, Wesleyan, Bryn Mawr, etc. She lacks good judgement. This isn’t her diary. This is the internet. It’s not even on a personal blog.
    
    Shut it.
  - LL
    
    Go on, keep digging the hole deeper! Do you honestly believe that this would be grounds for refusal to hire her if she otherwise was a qualified candidate for a job? While its true that college isn’t “anything goes” with no consequences for later life, do you want to be held to a standard that says an error in judgment during college (e.g., tasteless prank, drunkenness, minor code of behavior violation, poorly written student news article, etc.?) should disqualify one for future employment?! If you really do, then that reflects very negatively on you and those that share your view.
  - Ashley Gavin, BMC ’10
    
    This is nowhere near a tasteless prank. This is a school wide publication. Something she will likely put on her resume under activities. So yeah. If someone came into my office and put this under their activities and I read it and thought “Wow, this person doesn’t seem to back up any of her points with evidence”, and I found that to be a job related flaw, it might make me think twice about hiring her. Hence why her school made her take it down. It offended people. It offended me.
    
    But this is really ridiculous to argue. The argument is whether or not she offended a shit ton of people. People are constantly fired for offending shit tons of people. Every day! Of course I don’t know Vicky personally. I dont know her GPA or her stellar record as a tenor saxophonist. She might have tons of other redeeming qualities, and may be a great friend. I don’t know her. If I knew her I might change my mind. But right now this is what I know about her. She is a girl at a competitive college with at least one extra curricular activity…within that activity she managed to anger me and a bunch of other people to the point of public apology.
    
    Hmm…maybe we should at least consider some other candidates.
    
    Maybe I am over reacting? Maybe not. A friend of mine was nearly fired at my job for a silly prank that only offended one person. Anyway if you would like to continue this conversation you can find me on facebook or google+ or something, I have not hid my identity from anyone.
- MoHo
  
  Don’t tarnish MHC’s name by jumping on the “threats about V. Chu’s future job perspectives” bandwagon. It’s out of line and immature. It is also a poor representation of all of the women’s colleges. Sure, Chu wrote something terrible and should feel remorse, but you’re DOING something more terrible and should stop.
  
  I thought that ANY of the schools that have been discussed would’ve spoken to the fundamental “two wrongs don’t make a right” moral.
Coedstudent

I find the defensiveness in these responses strange and alarming. Excessive pride often indicates lack of true confidence. Also, as a student at a co-ed university that often wears pajamas or ugly clothes and no makeup to class, I have to say that the idea that women need to be separated from men in order to feel comfortable in their own skin is, by definition, demeaning. I don’t need to rail about woman-power to feel powerful. I don’t need to tear down someone else’s opinion to validate my own.
I have met a lot of women’s college students, and a lot of Bryn Mawr College students, and like any other institution some are wonderful and some are difficult to bear, but the idea that women’s college students are in some way superior socially or academically to those of us who decided to go elsewhere, which is never directly stated but heavily implied here, is insulting.
- BMC
  
  It is insulting. Equally as insulting as the insinuation the author makes that we only feel comfortable wearing sweatpants to class because we are in an all-female environment, or that we hate men, or that we are inferior to women who go to coed institutions, as implied by the article.
  
  I don’t think it is strange to defend yourself when stereotypes about you are expressed as fact. These stereotypes are something Bryn Mawr women have to face all the time. They are difficult and at times quite hurtful.
  
  As far as tearing down someone else’s opinion to validate our own, it is not the opinion of Ms. Chu – ostensibly that women’s colleges are inferior to coed institutions – that is generating the emotional response, but the disrespectful and offensive way in which she has argued her point.
Regina

Sweatpants are all that fits me right now.
- Sophie
  
  perfection
Eleanor06

This is a ridiculous article. And for the record, Mount Holyoke College is in the process of researching the implications of becoming a co-educational institution, something that many single-sex institutions do as part of a process of understanding markets, trends, educational outcomes and demands, etc – and a process that may also lead to strengthening the argument for remaining a single-sex institution. They are many, many steps away from what one might consider to be “deliberating” whether or not they will go co-ed.
- mhc 08
  
  I’m a Mount Holyoke alum, and to clarify, this is something that the College does every few years. The discussion of going co-ed is a regular part of the discussion and is not likely to happen. I imagine that many single-sex institutions consider this as part of a discussion about the endowment. From what I’ve gathered from discussing this with the administration and the development office, there is no “deliberation.”
  
  There is no need to even discuss the absurdity of Ms. Chu’s article. I believe women’s colleges are still relevant today and are instrumental in shaping not only the students who choose to attend but women’s education on an international level.
  
  7 Sisters Solidarity.
  
  –MHC alumna ’08
wesgirl ’12

OMG no one at Wesleyan cares about any of these arguments. give it a rest wellesley/bryn mawr women. stop getting personally offended from what one girl thought about a year of her life at another college. everyone has their own experiences in college that shape their opinions and it doesn’t mean that it is a personal attack on your own experience. this is an OPINION piece. not what all of wesleyan thinks and also clearly not what all of you think.

i understand it is midterms so ya’ll are procrastinating from writing papers, but seriously move on.
- MPS
  
  I hardly think you’d “give it a rest” if someone wrote a scathing editorial claiming all Wesleyan students left bloody tampons scattered across campus…
  - barackobama
    
    It wasn’t an editorial. Like most opinion pieces, it probably did not even make it into the “hard” copy of the paper.
  - another wes girl
    
    it did make the hard copy of the paper, but unlike wellesley/bryn mawr, we glanced at it and moved on. Wesleyan gets shitted on all the time (being called the most annoying liberal arts school, etc). We recognize they are in no way attacking our personal experiences. All these women here seems to think the author specifically intends to insult them, when she’s not. Stop overreacting.
Bujikadubba

is there going to be a response from the author?
Sarahelindberg

It sounds like the author found her brief time at Bryn Mawr challenging, socially and personally. That is completely legitimate and transferring may have been the best decision for her, but being challenged by an environment isn’t a good reason to lash out at the institution of women’s colleges generally, students specifically, and to indulge in blind generalizations and stereotypes. A good education, academically and socially, is one that challenges you. I think it’s a shame that the author wrote this article instead of examining what specifically about Bryn Mawr she found challenging in an honest, respectful, and productive way. I am a Bryn Mawr alum who thought seriously about transferring out my sophomore year, primarily due to the single-sex nature of the school. I chose to stay because I realized that for me there was more room to grow in an environment that challenged the assumptions I held about what a community was, and that gave me the chance to define myself as a woman, not in relation to men, but by forming my own sense of self as a woman. Bryn Mawr isn’t normal. “Normal” doesn’t challenge you, help you grow, learn about and change your perspectives, or ask you to think about yourself differently than you may ever have before. I certainly hope that Wesleyan isn’t, as the author purports it to be, “normal” and that the reaction to this article will give the author the chance to reflect more seriously on the opinion she states here. It might be illuminating.

Sarah Lindberg, Bryn Mawr, 2010
Haverford Senior

I consider myself towards the bottom of my Haverford class. The only two classes I’ve taken at Bryn Mawr, both in my major, have been disappointingly simple – both were 200 level. Textbooks with big highlighted vocabulary and tests asking questions straight from the book with no critical thinking. Attendance + paying attention led to a great grade. People in the class asked some absurdly stupid questions.

I was disappointed that these classes fell right into the stereotype I’ve heard of BMC classes.
- EMcG BMC10
  
  I took several classes at Haverford while I was a student at Bryn Mawr, with the exact same experience you had. This really isn’t the time or place for this tired discussion, but can we please just acknowledge that both schools have good profs and poor profs, good classes and bad classes, and yes, both schools have stupid people and slackers. I think we’re done now.
  - BMC ’14
    
    About to post almost the exact same comment. Thank you.
  - HC
    
    Bet it was Gangadean
  - HC Philosophy Major
    
    ((Hahahahahahahahahaha))
  - Molly Pieri, BMC Class ’09
    
    Although, I should also add that I absolutely loved my Buddhist Philosophy in a Global Context class, and still keep The Way of the Bodhisattva on the “books I actually read” portion of my bookshelf.
OxfordComma

Your willingness to disparage an entire school based on your personal experience at an entirely different institution doesn’t speak well of your writing and critical thinking abilities. It sounds like you’re not really cut out for Bryn Mawr, Wesleyan, Wellesley, or any other rigorous college.
- LL
  
  Snark.
er?

I’m trying to think of something constructive to say but all I can hear in this article is “wah I went from one well-ranked school to another well-ranked school that is in turn mistaken for another well-ranked school – alas, how difficult is the life of a first-world college student!”
Sarah Frank

It’s not worth my time to address Ms. Chu’s points. Suffice it to say, I went to Wellesley and this piece could not be a less accurate description of my experiences there.

Instead, my comments are directed at the Wesleyan Argus. A high-minded discussion of the benefits of single sex education is fine, regardless of whether I agree with the writer. But to print inaccurate snippy jabs at another college? One the writer never even attended? It seems to border on libel, and I wish your editorial board had been more thoughtful.

Sarah Rosen Frank
Wellesley ’99
BM14

It gets pretty exhausting yelling “death to the patriarchy” from your dorm room all day long, strewing bloody tampons all over the bathrooms on campus, sleeping with professors, doing unmentionable things with haverford sports teams, and hunting down clean, oversized sweatpants to wear to every class, meal, and other functions, all while trying to keep up with the Foucault and Butler readings. No wonder you only lasted a year!
Anonymous

If the editors of this newspaper, and, more broadly, the administration at Wesleyan truly care about this student’s future, I would suggest they take down this article and issue a more formal, less-bloggy apology on behalf of Ms. Chu. I am embarrassed for her and am baffled that this publication thought a “showcase of stereotypes” of life at a women’s college would make for an acceptable piece for publication — how could it be read as anything but offensive and misogynistic? I do not know if Ms. Chu has future career goals in journalism, but this letter has already been cross-listed on jezebel.com and I can only imagine it’s a matter of time before it gets further attention on the internet. I’m a graduate of a women’s college, so I am personally offended by this, but as a general piece of writing, it reflects very little coherent, critical thinking (writing about and reinforcing stereotypes rarely involves such skills) and this is probably a very inaccurate portrayal of this student’s strength because I’m certain that you need to be an inquisitive and critical thinker to survive at either Bryn Mawr or Wesleyan. If this stays up, Ms. Chu could be held accountable for a momentary mistake she made in college; while I do not think she anticipated these consequences, the editors of this publication certainly had a responsibility to do so.
Sandy89

I find it interesting that you talk about students from other schools surrounding Bryn Mar prejudicing against the institution and the women that go there when your Wesleyan article does the same exact thing.
Lesbian Is Not An Insult

Your apology is terrible. Because men mocked you for going to a women’s college, you decide to say some woman-hating things in return? You make no sense. You should have stayed at Bryn Mawr — you may have learned a few things about feminism.
HC 2010

Vicky,

It’s unfortunate that your Tri-Co peers made you feel uncomfortable about the quality and legitimacy of your education at Bryn Mawr. As someone who took many challenging classes on that campus and who has many very good friends who are Martyrs or alums, I am sorry that anyone at Haverford or Swarthmore made the kinds of gross generalizations they did.

That considered, you should have known better than to make the same kinds of gross generalizations in your article. If you truly felt as isolated and offended by them as you claim, you should not have turned them around and thrown them back on Bryn Mawr and then dragged Wellesley into the matter. Your attempt to explain your perspective in your apology letter is nice, though unconvincing.

CR HC 2010
a dude

histrionics!
A Smithie

“The bigger issue for me was how men viewed Bryn Mawr women as a result of our single-sex experience.” I see now why single sex education wasn’t for you.You seem to be convinced that what men think about you or your institution is more important than the truth. I agree that men from other schools have all sorts of stereotypes about women who attend all female schools. Males from near-by schools did, in fact, say that Smithies were either desperate or angry lesbians, but, you know, that’s because they (like most men in the nation) believe that any woman who is sex-positive, knows what she wants and gets it must either be a whore or gay (if she’s getting it from a lady). I made sure not to care because I knew that they were misogynistic pompous jerks whose intention was to demean another human being based on their gender alone while they got high-fives from their friends for banging someone new. Girls from Amherst definitely hated Smithies for the obvious reason that we were competition academically and sexually.

Here are some facts about graduates of women’s colleges: Women’s college graduates make up only two percent of the college-educated population, and yet one-third of the women board members of the Fortune 1000 companies are women’s college graduates. Women’s college graduates are twice as likely to earn Ph.D.s. A higher percentage go on to study in the sciences and attend medical school. Of Business Week’s 50 highest ranking women in corporate America, 30 percent are women’s college graduates. Of 61 women members of Congress, 20 percent attended women’s colleges. These same stats are written about widely, but I found them this time at https://www.collegetoolkit.com/guides/college-selection/rescollwomens.aspx

How men (and women) view women at liberal arts colleges is inconsequential to the outcome of the education, and I’d say is even one of the reasons women’s colleges still exist. Parity has not been reached. Not even close.
BMC ’12

Danny DeVito I love your work!
Anassa Kata

“The only thing you can’t replace is your reputation.” When I sent this article to my stepmother, a lawyer for the US government…this was her response. And she has sent it to friends in her department who went to women’s colleges – such as Wellesley and Smith. Unfortunately for you, this will continue to haunt you – you never know who you will run into. People from both colleges have sent this article to everyone they know – who have in turn sent it. This has gone farther than students at Bryn Mawr and Wellesley.

Furthermore, it’s fine that you didn’t like the women’s college experience – sometimes I don’t either. Many times I don’t like a pro-feminist nature of Bryn Mawr. But I have enough courtesy and respect to never tell lies about Bryn Mawr College and then, for no reason other than the name, bring Wellesley into it. I understand you got caught up in the moment about being published (oh boy!) – sensationalism. I thought Wesleyan was more high class than tabloids.

You see, I lived on the same hall as you a year at Bryn Mawr – I know you. And I know you’re spreading lies. Furthermore…I know this little “article” of yours is nothing more than you validating your choice to attend Wesleyan by putting down Bryn Mawr College – unnecessarily. You talk about girls needing the “fuck truck” to survive…but I remember you being one of those girls very clearly, Ms. Chu. A bit hypocrtical, no? I remember you talking, yourself, about Bryn Mawr’s lower ranking. Thus (since we’re making conclusions on personal experience, here): this must be a self-justifying article.

I would suggest you think before you speak (or write).
Guest

Calling it an “all girls” school is itself degrading.
AZ AZ

“However, many of my classmates at the time told me they also felt marginalized by the experience of attending an all-girls school, and I know many who transferred as well.”

It’s not an all-girls school, it’s a women’s college you stupid bitch
- LZ
  
  How about “all-bitches” school? Given these comments, that would come closer to the mark.
  - U mad?
    
    ‘Bitches’ for defending their school? That’s quite laughable. You seem more offended than the Wellesley and Bryn Mawr students. Take a deep breath and stop reading if women standing up for their school’s reputation is stressing you out.
    
    It’s time to stop posting.
    http://www.bestmemes.com/pix/56248766.jpg
    
    RK bmc’13
Guest

http://ampersanding.blogspot.com/2011/10/pov-occupy-usdan.html
BMC’14

I love how the entire “apology” basically meant nothing. It is a waste of words.. She clearly sounds like she was forced to do write it, especially with the areas where she is still arguing her false generalizations. At least there is still some Mawrytr like fight in her. I feel bad for the Wesleyan students/alum who are forced to suffer the negativity from this article. I hope the writer the best of luck in her achievements because she is going to need it.
S V Ryan1988

Dear Ms. Chu,

I could talk at length about my experience as an alum, but I won’t. I pity you, actually, because the ludicrous arrogance of this apology evidences your sincere lack of class in almost every way.
Every consortium has its stereotypes. You seem incredibly naive if you think the occasional joke made about another institution constitutes fact or the sole viewpoint on that campus. It angers me that you are perpetuating these about Bryn Mawr, when you clearly sought out negative points of view to confirm your own dissatisfaction, and when you chose to spend an inordinate amount of time at other campuses because you didn’t feel at home there.
By the way, if you were on my campus all the time and weren’t a student there, I’d probably have made rude remarks also.

Let me make this clear– I had friends at Haverford. I live with both Bryn Mawr and Haverford students now as an alumna. I was not mocked, I was not looked down on, and you are pathetically laughable in your attempt at journalistic prowess.
anon

Your apology is so pretentious.
Women Who Might

Soooo, in the response you claim that your biggest issue at BMC was the way that Haverford and Swarthmore students ridiculed you…yet as soon as you make a lateral jump to a coed but otherwise very similar college, you turn around and spread the same belittling stereotypes everywhere.

As a Wellesley alum, I’ll admit that I’ve heard my share of stereotypes from men — and some women! — about the value of women’s colleges. But I recognize that these sorts of baseless attacks say more about the people making them than they do about Wellesley.

You know, like maybe if some dudes are belittling Bryn Mawr for being inferior, and if Bryn Mawr is a “similarly exceptional” education (which it is), maybe the problem is actually with…the dudes? Maybe you should care less about what those kind of dudes think?
bryn mawr

“The bigger issue for me was how men viewed Bryn Mawr women as a result of our single-sex experience.”

Seriously? Why do you even care how men view Bryn Mawr?

“but I continue to stand by my opinion about same-sex education and invite readers to critique my arguments, not my personal character.”

No one is stopping you from having an opinion on same-sex education. I have an opinion on it too, and so does everyone else. What matters is HOW you’re presenting that opinion of yours. I don’t know if you realize this, but it’s quite possible to express your opinion (though I’m not sure what your “opinion” is) without offending anyone. Unfortunately, you’ve done a very poor job, and judging from this “apology” letter, it seems to me that you don’t quite realize what you’ve done. If you don’t like having people critiquing your personal character, you must first realize that you have just degraded every Bryn Mawr woman’s personal character with shallow generalizations. It seems that you first need to work on understanding what an opinion is. Otherwise, if I were you, I would just keep my “opinions” to myself.

Bryn Mawr ’13
wellesley15student

Why did you even publish your article in the first place? Your attempt at justifying such a pathetic article just embarrasses you even more.

“Perhaps I was one of an unfortunate few at Bryn Mawr to witness events like this on a regular basis. However, many of my classmates at the time told me they also felt marginalized by the experience of attending an all-girls school, and I know many who transferred as well.”

… So you saw bloody tampons on the floor on a regular basis? Was it only you? Cause I’m sure other people would have noticed that as well… But anyway, it’s okay if you decide to transfer, we completely understand if the whole women’s college isn’t your thing. Because let’s face it, a women’s college isn’t for everyone.

However, you did nothing to “highlight a side of the women’s college experience that is less often portrayed”. More articles are published by people with similar mindsets like you who completely bash and stereotype women’s colleges to the point of almost no return. It is people who write these absolutely ridiculous articles that perpetuate stereotypes about women’s colleges. This side that you wrote about is what society has seen and will continue to see as people like you continue to write these completely biased and extreme pieces of sh**.

Also, please, get over the whole “Wellesley?” “… No, Wesleyan” thing. Many students at Wellesley have shared similar experiences. “Oh you’re going to Wesleyan?” “… No, Wellesley.” Do you see us freaking the fuck out over this and publishing how co-ed schools suck and perpetuate the solidification of gender roles and sexual norms in society? No. We see this problem exist, but instead of complaining about it, we take action and do something about it.

And you just really needed to suck it up with how men view you Bryn Mawr students. “It was through degrading experiences like these that were imposed on Bryn Mawr as a result of reinforced stereotypes that I came to believe the self-segregation of women’s colleges had backfired.” Stereotypes will exist anywhere you go, it’s not like you can escape it. The guys who see you Bryn Mawr students, in the real world, will just see you as women and continue to stereotype you. Those experiences may have been degrading, but you had the choice to rise above the situation and not let these comments faze you. Students at women’s colleges have to go through this every single day, you can push through it as well. Haters gon hate, just let them judge, and prove them wrong.

Please, for the love of God, grow up.
wellesley alum

I’m not even going to bother writing a lengthy point-by-point response to your article and apology, because it seems like these 300+ comments have only made you more solid in your opinions. I feel bad for you because I feel like you have internalized the sexism that you have encountered, but I am also saddened by your attempt to spread and perpetuate sexist stereotypes.

For everyone else reading this, I sincerely hope that you don’t just take Ms. Chu’s words as representative of what it’s like to attend an all-women’s college. I went to Wellesley not because of it’s all-female environment, but for it’s excellent education and its gorgeous campus. But while I was there, I did meet a bunch of smart sassy ladies who were proactive and took charge. As I discovered in the real world, one or two males would often take over discussion in my female-dominated work place. Then in medical school, the men are again the most vocal. Even when I’m in an all-female small group, I find myself taking charge–as someone who used to be so shy that people used to tell me to speak louder, I attribute part of my confidence to Wellesley. And, while there are certainly people who scoff at the idea of an all-women’s institution, I met SO many people–both men and women–who view Wellesley as an amazing institution.

– Wellesley ’09
MIT 2014

From those of you who keep telling Wellesley/Bryn Mawr posters to simply “stop overreacting” try this: replace “Wellesley and Bryn Mawr” with “Howard and Spelman” and “Women’s Colleges” with “HBCU’s.” So here we have a girl who spent a year at an HBCU, decided that it wasn’t for her and then writes a terrible article confirming every nasty stereotype and pretty much condemning their existence based on her, very narrow, experience. You better believe people would be furious!

I realize that those posters may not see sexism as an issue of importance, but this comparison is meant to show that different groups of people have their own set of values, which (as we see from the attention this article has gotten) they are willing to fight tooth and nail to defend. Just because you don’t see the importance of something, or how deeply it offends someone else, does not mean you should just tell them to just “get over it.” That’s really selfish and narrow-minded!

DISCLAIMER: This example is just for the sake of an analogy! I’m not to trying to make any overarching comparisons of the importance of racism v. sexism so please don’t misunderstand! I’m a course 6 major, so please cut me some slack if I am not as eloquent as some of the other posters :/
Williams Grad

What an inane article. What an inane non-apology.

Congratulations, Vicky. You’re going to have a difficult time finding a job next year.
- LL
  
  More unnecessary snark.
  - Guest
    
    Get used to it, it’s the internet.
- The Juggernaut
  
  Get out Williams troll!
HR’12

It looks like your apology is as shallow as you seem to be. Good to know that the curtains match the syntactical drapes.
Molly Pieri, BMC Class ’09

Dear Ms. Chu,

While I have written comments in response to your article before, I have not personally addressed you until now. Having read your statement above, I would like to start by saying that I can absolutely relate to the discrimination you experienced from some members of the Haverford and Swarthmore communities. During my time at Bryn Mawr, I spent many (if not most) of my weekends socializing at Swarthmore, and I took at least half of my classes at Haverford. While the majority of individuals at both schools were welcoming to me, and never spoke ill of Bryn Mawr for being a women’s college, there were a large number of individuals (both male and female) who, as you so accurately put it, looked down upon me for attending what they felt was an inferior institution, made assumptions about my sexuality (and how that affected my intentions at their school), and generally assumed that my character was of a lower caliber because I went to an all women’s college. I agree that these assumptions are hurtful, they are misogynistic. I also assert that they are patently untrue. I was not judged on my own merit, rather the challenges I faced were all based the generalization that I went to an all-women’s college, and so the following things, X,Y,Z, must be true of me. It sounds as if you and your friends had similar stereotypes forced upon you during your time at Bryn Mawr. You have my empathy.

However, your article, it seems, did more to enforce those false assumptions rather than challenge them. Which hurt even more, because your article came from a source who, one would assume, knew better what kind of institution Bryn Mawr is. To quote from your original article:

_______________________________________________________________________
“So what makes a women’s college as an institution different?

In terms of classroom environment, going to a women’s college means sitting in a classroom with women in oversized sweatpants. Inevitably, there will be rumors about the relationship between the professor teaching your class and some student. There will also be one male from a nearby coed school who sits in the front row. He will wear a sweatshirt with the name of his school prominently displayed at every lecture and will therefore be even more conspicuous to his glaring female classmates. He will be applauded by the professor solely for his willingness to learn in a female-dominated environment.

Socially, going to a women’s college means almost literally screaming “Death to the Patriarchy!” all day, every day. It means bloody tampons strewn all over the bathroom floor. It means glaring at the coed schools’ sports teams who come to your campus to eat your chicken wings. It means taking a bus to other schools on the weekends to do unmentionable things with aforementioned sports teams.”
_______________________________________________________________________

This does not challenge the negative stereotypes I faced on the other Tri-Co campuses throughout my time at Bryn Mawr: it validates them! It states them as truth, from a reliable source: a former Bryn Mawr student!

My comments before now have been more academic in nature: I have been looking to instigate conversations regarding the benefits, and the costs, of single-sex education; I hoped to examine the judgments placed on women of these colleges who choose to behave in a certain way. But this post is different. This is my personal response, and as such I hope you will forgive me if my arguments are not as rigorously articulated as they would be in an academic piece of writing.

It hurts to have someone- someone who I feel should know better, someone who should know that by and large women from Bryn Mawr are capable, smart, women of integrity- echo the accusations, the stereotypes, and the assumptions I felt I had to challenge my entire four years as an undergraduate. I feel betrayed, Ms. Chu.

You have apologized for your generalizations, and you have explained the feelings from which your article was inspired. But your article did not say “Here are the stereotypes I faced as a student at an all women’s college. Here are the presumed benefits of an all women’s college. I find all these benefits to also be present in my current co-ed college. At my coed college, I am not confronted with negative stereotypes. I experience all of the presumed benefits of an all women’s education, with none of the negative stereotypes while attending my coed college, therefore I believe that single-sex education is counter productive, and I prefer to attend a coed institution”. That would have been fine- heck, some days I might even have agreed with you on that point.

Instead your article stated that going to an all women’s college “means” conforming to all the negative stereotypes you complain about in your current statement. I sympathize with the way that it feels to have your school looked down upon by your peers- and to be looked down upon because of your school. But, seriously Ms. Chu, how does proclaiming these negative, untrue, stereotypes as fact help to ameliorate this situation? Please, next time you decide to write about this issue, think before you publish, because someone as bright as you must be to have been accepted at both Bryn Mawr and Wesleyan (a great school, by the way, one to which I applied and seriously considered going…) you must be able to see how your words have not only failed to make the point you claim to have been aiming for, but also have the power to hurt others in very personal ways.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Molly Pieri, BMC ’09
Guest 2012

“I apologize to the University for causing unnecessary animosity between liberal arts institutions.”

There is no animosity between the institutions. Everyone is simply voicing how they feel about you and your article, not Wesleyan as an institution.

“While I should not have generalized beyond my own experiences, these assertions were based on incidents that I witnessed during my time at Bryn Mawr.”

The bathrooms are always flawless. Also, your “incidents” weren’t witnessed, they are your own unique experiences. Everyone knows what you were up to on the weekends. And there is NO shame in that, but don’t act like all BMC women were roaming the tri co on the weekends doing “unmentionable things”.

“We were looked down upon for our lower liberal arts college ranking and mocked for wanting to study at their institutions. ”

Sometimes people make rude comments. It is a fact of life, and is not isolated to the college bubble. Ignore it, and move on.

“However, many of my classmates at the time told me they also felt marginalized by the experience of attending an all-girls school, and I know many who transferred as well.”

Please don’t drag others into this sloppy mess of yours without proving what they said with a direct quote and permission from them. Also, none of your BMC classmates, ASA board mates, or hallmates even speak to you anymore because you managed to alienate / weird out all of them.

“These negative stereotypes do exist and continue to be perpetuated and I condemn them as much as any commenter.”

Ok…but you utilized stereotypes as “evidence” in your article, so you don’t really make any sense. Let’s face it, you just wanted to poke fun at Bryn Mawr because you felt outcast there, because you made enemies there, and because you felt insecure about going there when you really wanted to go to Wellesley. You also, if I remember correctly, used to make fun of the rest of the BMC population as if you were not part of it.

Shame on you Vicky. The article you wrote is terrible. You have no respect for the people you went to school with. In fact, you never really did. The way you acted towards many of your peers was passive aggressive, and at times downright cruel. It’s truly funny how things work out.

Good luck!!! You’re going to need it.
- Otherguest12
  
  Can we stop it with the innuendos? I’m not defending her in any way, but she did have a boyfriend at the time. And if everyone keeps calling her a slut or whatever, then WE’RE only reinforcing the stereotypes she’s mentioned.
  - Anassa Kata
    
    Get your facts right. She only had a boyfriend for the second half of her sophomore year.
  - ConfidentCoed
    
    Do you realize how catty you sound? You are absolutely reinforcing the stereotypes she talked about right now. You make it seem like everyone’s sexual exploits were everyone else’s business, and that Otherguest12 is stupid to not have memorized them. And that’s beside the point; who cares when she had a boyfriend. You are just implying that it is bad for women to sleep around if they want to, and the fact that women do that to one another is perhaps even worse than when men do it to women. It is bad enough that cruel words from men limit us, why are we limiting each other?
  - wendynorbury09
    
    …but you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores. Who here has ever been called a slut?
- Wellesley ’11
  
  Please, please don’t do this. Her article was awful, her assertions unsupported and her stereotyping offensive, but all of this would have been equally bad coming from anyone. Saying things like “everyone knows what you were up to on the weekends” doesn’t help. I don’t care what she got up to on the weekends; I care what she wrote in this article. And a discussion of her romantic life seems well beyond the scope of that.
  
  If you know the writer personally and if that influences your opinion, fine. So be it. But the majority of us don’t, and probably never will – so for this to turn into a debate about her character is unproductive at best (and, in my opinion, pretty inappropriate as well).
  - BMC ’07
    
    I have to agree–slut shaming isn’t helping anyone. The author’s personal character is not of import here. Her opinions were poorly formed and the outcry was warranted. Vitriol is not. I believe that everything that needs to be said about the original article has been said, even on Jezebel. It’s not necessary to bring her personal character under attack, given that everything on the internet lives in perpetuity. And, if you, as a Mawrter, feel so inclined to defame her, you should have the decency to sign your name, according to our Honor Code.
  - BMC ’07
    
    My apologies! that was supposed to be to ‘Guest 2012’ and ‘Anassa Kata’…
Sarah Sherman BMC ’11

I understand the desire to apologize due to the backlash, as once this article went viral it was clear that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”. But I do not believe this to be a decent apology. If it was, you would have not continued to have taken jabs at Bryn Mawr throughout the apology.

As a proud Bryn Mawr alum, I know that Bryn Mawr made me who I am today, gave me the best friends I could ever imagine, and helped me learn more than I ever thought I could. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you and I applaud you for making the effort to go somewhere else to be happy.

I just would still like to know when you saw used tampons on the bathroom floor, as I never experienced that during my four years. I also would like to state that I got the same grades in my Haverford classes as my Bryn Mawr classes, and they never felt harder by any means. Finally, while I did not enjoy when Haverford invaded Haffner for pizza on Sunday, it was by no means only Haverford sports teams that were there. And I never did “unmentionable things aforementioned sports teams”, staying at Bryn Mawr was fine for me. ;)
Guest

Omg, word vomit!
Wellesley 2012

Well, why didn’t you just say that in the first place? I’d have been much happier reading this apology instead of the original piece; there are actually some substantive things in there.
bmc 11

OUCH! I hope these comments are getting emailed right to your brand new @wesleyan.edu !

learn something from it.
stephanie young
bryn mawr college ’11
BMC ’12

Hi Vicky,

Although I do not want to reiterate what others say in regards to your piece, I really will not accept this as an apology. You claim that your issue with Bryn Mawr was the judgment and stereotyping fellow tri-co members inflicted. Being made to feel inferior for any reason is awful. On a personal level I never experienced that in the tri-college community. I find all three communities welcoming and intellectually stimulating.

My point is that I am not sure you fully understand why we take issue with your piece. By claiming that Bryn Mawr and other women’s colleges are not able to stand alone, do you understand that you perpetuate those stereotypes you experienced as a student? Is that clear? In other words, you impart those same hurtful judgments upon us. We do not appreciate it!

Some write in these comments that because I need to respond, I am somehow insecure in my school’s reputation or that my defense proves your point about Bryn Mawr students. Well, if standing up for myself is such a crime then it proves my point. Bryn Mawr continually teaches me to be a person that takes a stand. I will never allow others’ ridicule to dictate my life, and I will never degrade an entire community to validate my choices.

Although NO college experience mimics the real world, I am about to enter it. I will do so with the confidence and drive Bryn Mawr instilled.

On a side note, I plan my power outfits a week in advance. It matters to me.

Good luck,

M. Murphy ’12
Klaudiagorska

Vicky,
I am sincerely sorry that this was your experience at Bryn Mawr. I hope that you enjoyed your college experience at Wesleyan. Everyone deserves a place to fit in and thrive academically and socially.

Klaudia Gorska
Bryn Mawr 2008

PS I witnessed some of these same things, but the good outweighed the bad for me.
Proud SIMMONS Student

guess what Vicky Chu, being a transfer from a Co-Ed education, I can sit here and bash co-ed institutions just the same. I am proud to tell you that I go to an all women’s college and did NOT wear oversized sweatpants to class this morning. I sure hope you wear a pant suit to class everyday because heaven forbid you get caught “dressing like you came from a women’s college”
Leigh Craigmyle

ALUMNAE!!! We are pissed off alumnae of womens colleges. We are NOT alumni. The pissed off Wesleyan students (and the many others who found your piece repulsive) would be alumni. Unless some of the alumnae of Wesleyan College (Macon, GA) have also voiced their disgust here along with those of us from Agnes Scott, Spelman, Smith, Wellesley, Mount Holyoke, Bryn Mawr…

I hope you’ll gain from this and other life experiences something even slightly close to what we proud ALUMNAE of womens colleges have over the years. I do, however, sincerely doubt that is possible.
Guest

Enjoy, ladies.

http://biconews.haverford.edu/archives/7857-20985-revision-8.html

Another article by Vicky Chu about Bryn Mawr, specficaly transferring out.
- Guest
  
  I am disgusted. No matter how much people tell her what she did wrong, she will just never get it. That article was published back in 2009, and her writing style has not changed one bit over the span of two years (how do you even do that?).
- RK bmc’13
  
  Wow, I remember reading this article freshman year! Can’t believe she’s still dwelling on transferring out of Bryn Mawr, TWO years after the fact.
Hannah Wood, Bryn Mawr ’08

Ugh. That apology is the real-world equivalent of this one:

“Alyssa, I’m sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It’s not your fault you’re so gap-toothed.”

(To continue the Mean Girls trope that seems so prevalent here).

In all seriousness, I just hope that this whole debacle will end up being a meaningful “life lesson” for Vicky Chu. Sometime, somehow, everyone fucks up. What really matters is how you confront your mistakes, and what you take away from them.
dmzbmc

Argus staff:

As much as Ms. Chu was wrong in her generalizations, you made the decision to run the piece. It is unethical for you to remove it from public access just because the response to the article was so critical. You chose to run it, you should keep it up so that people know what this conversation refers to.

Bryn Mawr ’08

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Wesleyan v. Wellesley: “Rather Dead than Coed?”

October 10, 2011, by Vicky Chu, Class of 2013

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