Every Wednesday around 11a.m. to 4 p.m., I have huge block of free-time, which I like to spend curled up in my dorm lounge, organizing my schedule for the week and watching ABC Family’s line-up of programs from yester-year. I have come to realize, after staring mindlessly at the television set for five hours, that family sitcoms from the late 80s and 90s are just…really bad. I mean REALLY bad. Have you actually watched “Saved By The Bell?” Where exactly is the talent in that show? I mean seriously, there was more effort made in Dustin Diamond’s porn video than that mess. And “Family Matters?” It’s like The Cosby Show with a little more emphasis on the black family subdued by white culture, and a lot less soul food. Even The Jefferson’s had it better in the 70s. And laugh tracks! Who came up with laugh tracks? There is no reason to insert audience laughter in a program. Don’t tell me when to laugh, damnit. If something is funny I will laugh when I damn well please.

Yet here’s my dilemma: I still kind of, sort of LOVE family sitcoms. It’s a guilty pleasure, yet I’m pretty sure everyone will agree with me when I say it’s something we can’t give up. How can we turn our backs on such ridiculous classics like “Sister Sister” or “Boy Meets World?” We’ve grown up on these shows, and had their pointless plots ingrained into our minds since childbirth. (Granted some of us didn’t own TV’s, but I would have assumed those people would have stopped reading this article as soon as they read “ABC Family,” but who’s judging?) Sure we can say our parents had a fair amount of influence in our upbringing, but we all know that our environment plays an even larger role. Therefore: Television is to our environment as Palin is to MILF magazine.

Granted, I tend to have a particular bias towards one family sitcom that I feel most individuals tend to neglect. It’s sad really when there is a lack of praise for America’s favorite family (that isn’t black, that is, so you can rule out “Fresh Prince,” and the Obamas). I’m talking about the Tanners. How can we forget the oh-so-loveable “Full House” of primetime television in the late 80s and early 90s?

Set in San Francisco, Calif., “Full House” is a show made for people who seek to find comfort in a world of tidy morals and catch phrases. After his wife’s death, Danny Tanner (Bob Saget) recruits his best friend Joey (Dave Coulier) and his brother-in-law, Jesse (John Stamos), to help him raise his three daughters, DJ (Candace Cameron-Bure), Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin) and, of course, Michelle (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen). Every episode contains moral conflicts, such as eating disorders, child abuse, and drug usage, all of which, apparently, can be resolved with heartfelt conversations and hugs (in contrast to Sweetin’s and the Olsens’ experience outside the sitcom universe).

Who can really deny their appreciation for an amazing show? I must recommend it to anyone who has missed it in his or her childhood. Take a moment to turn on ABC Family and just watch an episode. Watch Saget talk about something other than funny American home videos, or Stamos as younger John Stamos, or the adorable Olsens before the anorexia. Just remember you need to be prepared for three things before you watch such an amazing piece. Be prepped for a lot of hugging, wonderful catch phrases (Michelle’s “you got it dude” is my personal fave), and the amazing laugh track. Some people may say that such clichéd and sugar coated effects are outdated and obnoxious in the new millennium. All I have to say to those people is screw you! You’re a disgrace to the 90s and you probably don’t even know the “Fresh Prince” theme song.