I fucking hate you ass bitches. Where do I start with you and your shitty fucking restaurant? Possibly on the fact that we almost fucking died trying to make the suicide turn into the parking lot. Of course, I would rather go out in a car crash then go out from the E.coli-infested dog shit that you pass off as food to unsuspecting customers.

The ambiance of the hovel we dined in was one of any other creaky, shit-stained hovel we could have dined in that night. Fuck you. Maybe you could try to make your restaurant less like a strip club-turned-dive bar near the docks, and more like a place where people would want to eat food without throwing up all over the place. Fuck you.

The sauce for my fettuccine looked like cum you had just coaxed from your wrinkly, hairy old man balls. I didn’t know that you could just mix water and glue together and call it alfredo sauce. Oh, the service was great, but do you think that could make me see past the fact that you were serving me excrement in the form of pasta? I fucking think not. Just because the waitress is attentive doesn’t mean that you get a pass for serving me food that looks like something that was covered in pubes. Note to Alfredo: not all of us are rich assholes who can afford to spend $20 on weak pasta that tastes like aborted fetuses. Fuck you.

Oh, you want a compliment? The fries were good. Of course, that’s like saying “I didn’t bleed that much when she bit my dick” after a bad blowjob.

I hope that you find out that you were actually born a woman, and your Tic-Tac of a dick is actually just an oversized clitoris, and while you’re taking a shit weasels crawl up your asshole and eat your oversized clitoris from the inside, leaving you with weasel dick.

While I am sure that you are not a privileged white jock, I hold you in the same regard as those assholes. So I will safely assume that you get off serving shit food to underprivileged students of color (fuck you.) And in this one instance, it is I who posses the hate gene, because I hate you more than anything else. Do you fucking hear me, Alfredo? Your food is shit, your restaurant is shit, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.