Editors' Note, '10

Platform: Being seminally humorous; annoying hippies and activists; high-double digit-wieners; impressive understanding of all things you don't get; old-timey measurement systems; anti-Semitism

Bio: Originally the arts page; transmuted into endless hilarity thanks to Yankee ingenuity and black magic

Slogan: “Spreading Our Love Faster Than, or at Least About as Fast as, Our Herpes”

Vote for,
Nat and Gelman

This article was posted in the print edition as part of the Wesleyan Argus Ampersand. It is satire and should not be construed as fact.